Two in ten lasting ...

- August 20, 2020

What's the biggest embarrassment you've experienced and how did you deal with it??

I'll tell you my own story.

I was still a student nurse and I was on clinical posting , so I went to labour ward where I was posted to. Now this was my second posting as a student nurse so I wasn't exactly a pro with the hospital and most procedures.

Bear in mind that I was just in 200level and as a Bsc nurse in training this was my first exposure to the hospital environment unlike my counterparts in school of nursing who would have been exposed since their first year.

Just so you know, being posted to a ward as technical and tough as labour ward as a novice is not one of the nicest things in the world! I hadn't even started maternal and child health nursing in class , so even theoretical knowledge "I no get" but I was asked by my department to go there ,so I went!

As if the forces in the world were against me, this nurse asks me to count the contraction of woman in labour. The right thing to do which I did was to explain to her that I Know not what contraction is 😂 . So I went "ma please I don't know how to ..." she cut me short and restated the instruction with a more authoritative voice . What other choice did I have other than to proceed and disgrace my entire lineage😆.

Without the slightest knowledge of what to do, I dragged my feet slowly to the patient's bed side, hoping to buy enough time for some miracle to happen. Sadly , I got to the patient's bed side (faster than I expected) but nothing happened.

I looked round the room, looked up, down sideways waiting for some divine inspiration, alas! None came. I didn't even know what body part I was going to work with and this meant that I also didn't know what side of the bed to stand at.

Soon I remembered that some doctors and nurses had been putting their gloved hands into the women's vagina, bringing it out and observing it closely. Aha! My eyes lit up , my super smart brain had figured it out. That must be 'contraction counting'!

Whatever their hands did inside was not my business, like them, I was going to put my hands in, bring it out and look closely then think of something to tell the nurse.

I proceeded to pick a pair of gloves, as soon as I did everyone in the room burst into laughter. I thought Bovi or some superstar comedian was in the room, well it didn't take long before I figured out that I was Bovi, Bovi is me😂, I was the joke, the comedy, the naive nurse, the Indaboski Bahose!!!

Someone went ahead say "count contractions , she carry glove" . At that point I realized my super smart brain wasn't so smart after all.

From nowhere, another nurse came in, I still do not know how she figured out I was in distress; she wasn't there initially. She explained everything about contraction to me and taught me how to count it. She even brought me a chair and a clock. She was my miracle ☺️☺️ and I was grateful.

Feeling the uterus hardening under my palm was fascinating, then she told me how to express my findings - "two in ten lasting 40 seconds" . Repeating the statement in my head made me feel like a nurse😋😋

Later I heard the nurse gossiping to anyone who cared to listen about how my colleagues and I knew nothing. She went ahead to say the only person who knew something was the older woman in our group(this woman was already a matron with 26years of experience who only came for her Bsc) . Now what kind of comparison is that🤷🤷

Today, I can count contractions (praaaaaaiiiiiseee the Lord 🤣🤣), monitor a woman in labour from start to finish and even take the delivery, I've given episiotomy and tried my hands on repair. There's a whole lot of nursing skills I've acquired.

To that nurse that wanted to disgrace my entire lineage, you will suffer for 6000 years 😂 because 600 seems too small and when we do meet again because it's a small world; I'll do absolutely nothing I'd help you out if you do need help because I'm born again and I have the Love of God in me.

I'd forever be grateful to my miracle nurse , she made me feel like a nurse and you bet I'd never forget "two in ten lasting 40 seconds each"!!